Saturday, October 4, 2008

Quotes from the Playroom

"Hey, Mom, if my wingspan gets any bigger, I'm going to need new pajamas." -- Elizabeth

Elizabeth refuses to graduate: Kindergarten has been such a hit that Elizabeth does not want to move up to first grade. "Mom," she said last night as she hugged her Lamby in bed, "I definately do not want to go to first grade. They don't have many parades in first grade. In fact, I haven't seen any first grade parades at all. So I think I'm going to do kindergarten again."

Back on the dole: Elizabeth today decided that she's done--DONE--with earning an allowance. The week-long experiment began at her behest. She had been earning 50 cents each Friday for carrying her dishes to the sink, planting her dirty clothes in the hamper and hanging up her bath towel. "I am quitting the allowance," she announced today. "It is much harder than it looks!"

The Benefits of a Tonsilectomy Are Many: William says: "I get to have ice cream all day long! And nothing nutritious at all! For a whole week!"

The Highest of Compliments: We've had tremendous preschool teachers over the past three years but noone, apparently, holds a candle to Mrs. Kindergarten.

"Oh," said William as he climbed into the car after Day #3 of kindergarten, "I love elementary school! And I love Mrs. C! And since I've had four teachers so far, that's saying a lot!"

From Kindergarten to College:

I long ago realized that my children do best when we explain upcoming events to them in detail--repeatedly. They know what to expect and can set aside any fears, going on to joyfully anticipate whatever we're doing.

I employed this theory when it came to kindergarten, of course.

Following the Parents' Open House, I spent an evening describing the exact set-up of Room #202 to Elizabeth. I verbally diagrammed the tiny chairs, the height and length of the lockers, the placement of the computers. I further talked about the other parents I met and re-inacted my conversation with her kindergarten teacher. I even detailed what the teacher was wearing--a chocolate polka-dotted sheath and kitten heels.

Thirty minutes later, I asked Elizabeth if she had any questions. I figured she'd express fears about getting lost or not knowing other kids.

"What I want to know," Elizabeth said, "is this: What's inside a tooth? Is it a solid, a liquid or a gas?"

We love geography: William and Elizabeth were debating the whereabouts of Iceland this afternoon.

Elizabeth: "Where is Iceland?"
William: "It is North."
Elizabeth: "How far North?"
William: "About 13 minutes."

It was a bad day for life-threatening viruses at our house last week. Memaw was talking with Elizabeth about the importance of hand washing. "Oh, yes," said Elizabeth as she scrubbed away, "I don't want to get the mumps or the weasels."

Momma needs to brush up on world leaders: Elizabeth came home from preschool with an Indian bindi beneath her blonde bangs and jingling a series of bangles on her arms. "Mom," she asked, "If Ghandi preached love and peace, why did everyone want to get rid of him?" Despite my liberal arts degree, I had to run to Wikipedia.

Daddy blows a fuse at Wal-Mart: We hear from a good source that Daddy lost it while buying groceries today. (In his defense, we deployed him with a list that included 572 items and two hungry four-year-olds.) Apparently said children were begging for potato chips. Said children continued to pull bags of chips off the shelf and dump them into the grocery cart. After warning said children 200 times to please put back the chips, Daddy grabbed one bag and smashed it's contents to smithereens. He made his point, of course. The downside: The bag popped open, spewing potato-y goodness geyserlike throughout Aisle 4.

Some restaurants need to continue branding: Elizabeth's favorite new eatery is "Crackle Barrels."

Love at first taste: Neither of my kids has ever had soda pop. That changed at a pal's birthday party this weekend when William discovered the joy of Sprite. (This was not my idea. Another little friend careened on a sidewalk and was given some as a distraction from various injuries; of course, everyone else wanted some too.) After taking a sip, he cradled the can in his still-chubby fist and gave us a huge grin. He sipped and sipped and sipped. Children ran off to play atop the huge wooden tree fort at the nearby park; others gathered around a pinata. William didn't budge. He sipped and sipped and sipped. When he was done, he tipped the can upside down, held it above his head and shook it, looking for more. "Can we have Sprite for my birthday?" he asked. Yes, I suppose we can...

REMEMBER THE OLYMPICS? William does. We followed an Audi to school today--the car's trunk features four looped silver circles. "Mom," said Will, "the people ahead of us were in the Olympics!" At that, he began humming the Olympic theme song.

LIBRARIAN IN TRAINING: Also on the way to school today, W & E began debating the nature of tornados. Were they "stuck" to the ground or did they "fly" through the air? "William," said Elizabeth matter-of-factly, "They are in the air and they jump over water. I read it in the nonfiction section of the library."

Christmas quotes:

Grandpa to Elizabeth: "A Hannah Montana doll? Is she from Wyoming?"

Julie to William: "Of course there is a Santa Claus! Who else would drop a 5-pound rainbow-colored lolipop into your stocking before 7 a.m.?"

Elizabeth to Grandparents following a trip to see The Nutcracker: "You better take me to a restaurant that serves healthy food or Mom will fire you."

Proof that I'm getting my money's worth from my children's Christian preschool education:

1. Elizabeth got into the car today and, sniffing, said, "Do I smell frankenscense?"
(When quizzed, she also knew that the three kings brought Jesus gold and mhyrr. She also knew mhyrr is a spice.)

2. Both W. and E. can sing the dreidel song; William knows the rules to the game.

3. Elizabeth's new imaginary friend is named "Nineveh." That's right--she named her pal after the ancient city named in the Bible located in what is now modern-day Iraq.

4. Elizabeth looks at the Harvest moon and says, "Jesus had a bigger star!"

On foreign exchange students:

Our lovely new neighbors have a super-cute foreign exchange student from Germany who played "Snow White" atop our trampoline with four children for what seemed to be two hours. Of course, she is now legendary in our home.

William: "We need a foreign exchange student."
Me: "Where do you want to get one from?"
William: "The foreign exchange student store."

On four-year-old measurements:

Elizabeth is making toast.

E: "William, how much jam do you want?"
W: "Oh, about four pounds."
E: "No problem."

Under the category of Things I Don't Want to Know: Elizabeth informs me that she ate ALL of her fruit salad while perched on the potty pooping.

An Oh-Crap Moment: I went to the kitchen this morning to get myself a drink and I automatically poured the milk into a sippy cup... The children, mind you, were at preschool...

Elizabeth: "Hey, Mom. Will, Dad and I are going to China. You can stay here and take care of the house."

Elizabeth loves the Midwestern fall: "It's a show for my eyes!"

Elizabeth's definition of psychic: "Lucas is my SIDEKICK. He knows things before I say them!"

Under the category of Things I Never Thought I'd Say:

Julie to Jim: "I never thought I'd be in favor of burning books but our school librarian can begin with 'Barbie's First Sleepover.'"

1 comment:

Laura said...

I love your "Quotes from the Playroom". Your children are darling!